If you’re just tuning in, CLICK HERE to start at the beginning. 🙂
Bet you guys and gals didn’t know that WritersWeekly has amazingly talented songwriters in-house, didja? Ha ha ha…
Buoy Bells
(Sing to the tune of Silver Bells)
Buoy bells (buoy bells), Red tide smells (Red tide smells)
It’s Christmas time in the tropics
Bang-a-lang (Bang-a-lang), Hear them clang (hear them clang)
Why is it 80 degrees?
Sunburned bubble butts, Sweaty beer guts
Dressed in shorts and flip flops
In the air there’s a sound of mosquitoes…
Beach bums laughing, tourists passing (out)
Meeting frowns from local folks
And on every beach blanket you hear
Jimmy Buffet (Jimmy Buffet), Jimmy Buffet (Jimmy Buffet)
I hate that song more than sweat stains
Oh my word (Oh my word), Big bag word! (Big bad word!)
Is that guy’s Speedo see-through?
Strings of cop lights, flashing blue lights
Blinking right in your eyes
As you try to rush home from the beach bar
Hear the boots crunch, on the pavement
Just outside your car door
And just after your Miranda Rights you hear
Watch your head (Watch your head), Lucky you’re not dead (Lucky you’re not dead)
Did you just vomit on my boots?
Snowbirds here (Snowbirds here), Every darned year (Every darned year)
Next year, go skiing instead!
If you, too, have written a funny Christmas parody song, please share it with us in the comments box below! We would LOVE to sing along!!!
All of the elves at WritersWeekly and BookLocker are wishing all of YOU, our smart, funny, talented, and at times whacky (which we LOVE!) readers, a beautiful, blessed, warm, and joyous Christmas!
Now, back to that HUGE tin of Moose Munch Crunch that arrived today!!
Angela Hoy is a publisher, a blogger, and the author of 19 books. She lived on dirt her entire life before her family gave away almost everything they owned, and moved onto a 52-foot Irwin Center Cockpit Ketch. They all live, work, and play on board full-time.
Angela is the publisher of WritersWeekly.com, a free source of paying markets for freelance writers and photographers. If you want to write for magazines, websites, businesses, or others, check it out. It’s free! Her publishing services company, BookLocker.com, has published more than 9,000 books over the past 18 years. If you want to publish a book, she’d love to hear from you! Abuzz Press is BookLocker’s hybrid publishing company. And, PubPreppers.com offers services to authors who are having their books published elsewhere.
If you’re just tuning in, CLICK HERE to start at the beginning. 🙂
On Saturday, I had my first major live-aboard mishap. I was getting back on board No Tan Lines, and misjudged where I put my toes on the toerail. The wind was blowing pretty hard and I thought I could make the 3 1/2 foot step from the dock onto the boat since I do it all the time.
I got my right foot on there just fine. But, when my body was halfway between the dock and the boat, my toe slipped off the toerail and my legs instantly went straight down toward the water. Instinct caused me to throw my upper body on the deck at the same moment. My right shoulder took the brunt of the impact. Max (age 17) and Mason (age 12) heard me holler, and came running.
I managed to claw my way onto the deck, turned over, and looked at my leg. It was very deformed. Nauseatingly so. The muscle had slid into my upper leg so my leg was flat on top from the kneecap up, and then there was a 90-degree angled huge mass of flesh.
Max said, “Oh, Mom! That doesn’t look right!!!” I thought it was bones piled up in my leg like that. I hope he and Mason aren’t scarred from seeing it.
I wish I’d thought to take a picture right then but I was too busy trying to figure out how I was going to walk down that looooong dock to get to the car for a trip to the hospital. Max ran down the dock to get Richard, I very slowly limped and stumbled down the dock, and our captain (and the Managing Editor of WritersWeekly), Brian Whiddon, heard the commotion, jumped out of his boat, and drove us to the emergency room. Max stayed on the boat to watch Mason and they received frequent text updates.
The muscle corrected itself before we got to the E.R. Several x-rays. Nothing broken. Muscle and nerve damage to my leg and a sprained right shoulder.
Swelling isn’t going down yet. When I touch it, it ripples like a water balloon. Pretty, huh? My left shin has an 8-inch long bruise on it and my right arm is bruised from the impact. My left arm is sore but no bruising. I also have a cut on my forehead that I think makes me look kinda tough. I am boat bound for several days but I have lots of good people taking care of me. Our awesome Dock 4 neighbors have called, texted, facebooked, and dropped by. We have enough dinners to last us a week, along with a beautiful cake, thanks to our friends Marilyn and Bob.
My leg pain is much better but my sprained shoulder is wreaking havoc on my sleep and my productivity. I changed my mouse from right-handed to left-handed, which took some getting used to. I also use Dragon Speak when I have a lot to write. My arm is in a sling and immobilized because lifting my arm hurts like a bleepity bleep bleep. I feel like I’m in a straight jacket.
The best part of this entire ordeal was that NOBODY SAW IT HAPPEN! However, if I’d hit my head and fallen in the water, I might not be here today. I will be so much more careful getting on and off the boat now. Another dock neighbor dropped a battery on his toe this week and broke 11 bones. Bad things come in threes so we’re waiting to see what happens next before things calm down here on the dock.
I am sooooo glad we hired two new employees over the past year. My goal was to ensure there was no single point of failure in the company if something happened to one of us. I guess I’ve been a good trainer because I’ve spent more time on my back with my leg being elevated and iced than I have been on my laptop. And, my awesome people have kept up with everything!! The downside is I’m running out of good Netflix movies to watch. Anybody have any good recommendations for excellent Netflix and Hulu series to watch? Please chime in in the comments box below! I’m bored out of my mind. Your recommendation may very well keep me out of a straight jacket! Oh, wait…I’m already in one.
Angela Hoy is a publisher, a blogger, and the author of 19 books. She lived on dirt her entire life before her family gave away almost everything they owned, and moved onto a 52-foot Irwin Center Cockpit Ketch. They all live, work, and play on board full-time.
Angela is the publisher of WritersWeekly.com, a free source of paying markets for freelance writers and photographers. If you want to write for magazines, websites, businesses, or others, check it out. It’s free! Her publishing services company, BookLocker.com, has published more than 9,000 books over the past 18 years. If you want to publish a book, she’d love to hear from you! Abuzz Press is BookLocker’s hybrid publishing company. And, PubPreppers.com offers services to authors who are having their books published elsewhere.
If you’re just tuning in, CLICK HERE to start at the beginning. 🙂
When you live on a boat, you grow accustomed to the sounds and the motions of your vessel on the water. There are normal sounds (the water pump clicking on or off, for example) and abnormal sounds (like the high water alarm!). And, there are normal motions (the constant, gentle rocking), and abnormal motions (like when a waterspout appears nearby and the boat instantly heels waaaaaay over!).
One afternoon earlier this week, I was sitting here working aboard No Tan Lines (“Tanny”) in the aft cabin. It was pretty quiet. Richard had taken Mason to a doctor appointment and Max was busy doing his school work in the v-berth. The air conditioner was running and it’s pretty loud so I couldn’t hear when the wind picked up. I could feel it, though. No big deal. The boat is almost always in motion and, when the afternoon storms blow in, we can rock quite a bit. I glanced through the port and saw black clouds approaching. Yea! Another blow!! We get those daily right now so I turned my attention back to the article I was writing.
And, that’s when I felt something different – something I’ve felt only twice before. The boat started shuddering. It felt like Tanny had the shiggles. She would shudder, and then stop, and shudder again. A weird, silent on and off vibration. And, I knew what that meant. We were rubbing the dock!
I pushed my laptop aside, jumped up, and ran through the hallway. The wind was howling now. Rambo the cat, who is terrified of storms, was heading in the opposite direction. He ran between my legs, screeching loudly as he always does when a big storm is coming. Max came barrelling out of his room. He’d felt it, too. He yelled, “What IS that?!”
I said, “We’re rubbing the dock! HURRY!”
Max threw open the companionway door, and flew into the cockpit. I was right on his heels. Tanny was flush against the dock on the starboard side. The bumpers were too low for the tide so they weren’t protecting her. Since the boat was pitching in the high winds, the toe rail was being scrunched and wood was splintering. Max ran to the bow, and started pulling on the port lines. I raced to the stern and, try as I might, I could not pull the lines. The winds was too strong, around 50 knots. I didn’t have the strength to pull a 45,000 lb. vessel against it.
Thankfully, at that moment, Captain Brian was walking up the dock. I yelled over the wind to get his attention. He jumped on the boat, and started helping Max with the bow line. I then ran to the middle of the starboard side, planted my butt on the deck of the boat, put both of my feet against the dock, and pushed with all of my might. That worked! I was able to get us about 12 inches away from the dock. I locked my knees and held on tight. I was wearing a dress so I must have been a sight.
Our next-boat-neighbors, however, weren’t paying any attention to me. They had their own issue to deal with. They own a large power yacht and they have a pretty heavy skiff on their upper deck, complete with an outboard and a center console. When the winds started howling, they decided to pull it up with their lift, and lower it into the water. I was glad they were doing that because it seemed we might be getting a tornado or a waterspout soon and I didn’t want that skiff going airborne, and landing on Tanny!
They got the skiff in the air, and moved it over the water (between our two boats)…and then the lift stopped working. So, the skiff was hanging there, about 12 feet above the water, dead center between our boats, and swinging wildly in the gale-force winds.
Brian and Max had managed to secure our lines and I was able to unlock my knees. We adjusted the bumpers and then Max then stood on our stern, holding a boat hook to prevent the skiff from hitting Tanny while it was blowing all around. They managed to get lines tied from the skiff to the pilings and that was about all that could be done until the storm ended.
We then sat in the cockpit, and watched the clouds heading our way. We didn’t see any rotation, thank goodness. Here’s the funny thing. We only got a few sprinkles when it passed over. I looked at the radar when I came back inside and the big red dot appeared to disappear just before it hit downtown St. Pete, and then reappeared north of town. WEIRD!!!
After things calmed down, I called Richard and Mason at the doctor’s office, and said, “You missed all the excitement! IT WAS AWESOME!!!”
Rambo was still cowering in the bedroom so I covered him up, and gave him lots of TLC the rest of the afternoon.
The damage to the toe rail isn’t any big deal because we’re currently having it ripped out and replaced. So, Tanny is none the worse for wear. We have a high chance of storms again this afternoon and I can’t WAIT!
Don’t forget to subscribe to our newsletter. We’ll alert you to new posts and we’ll be having book give-aways! 🙂
* * *
Angela Hoy is a publisher, a blogger, and the author of 19 books. She lived on dirt her entire life before her family gave away almost everything they owned, and moved onto a 52-foot Irwin Center Cockpit Ketch. They all live, work, and play on board full-time.
Angela is the publisher of WritersWeekly.com, a free source of paying markets for freelance writers and photographers. If you want to write for magazines, websites, businesses, or others, check it out. It’s free! Her publishing services company, BookLocker.com, has published more than 9,000 books over the past 18 years. If you want to publish a book, she’d love to hear from you! Abuzz Press is BookLocker’s hybrid publishing company. And, PubPreppers.com offers services to authors who are having their books published elsewhere.
If you’re just tuning in, CLICK HERE to start at the beginning. 🙂
I admit it…I suck at poetry.. And, it wasn’t really a “black” sky but it was pretty dark, and getting darker! The photo above is from the big blow we had on Tuesday. The rainy season is in full force right now and, when this one hit, the winds blew 40 mph and it rained sideways. We forgot to close the isinglass over the companionway so we had a significant leak pouring into the salon. Nobody wanted to step outside and get drenched (or get struck by lightning!) so we just laid down a bunch of towels.
Then, we sat by the ports, watching the system push through. The seas in the marina itself were 1-2 feet, which is very odd, even for a blow. The water rushing by No Tan Lines looked like a river and we were bouncing all over the place and heeling way over with each large gust. It was so cool!! We had another big blow yesterday and still another one this morning.
I LOVE rain so this is definitely my favorite time of year. Not only do we get a great lightning show in the afternoons, but the clouds make the Florida heat SO much more bearable.
Don’t forget to subscribe to our newsletter. We’ll alert you to new posts and we’ll be having book give-aways! 🙂
* * *
Angela Hoy is a publisher, a blogger, and the author of 19 books. She lived on dirt her entire life before her family gave away almost everything they owned, and moved onto a 52-foot Irwin Center Cockpit Ketch. They all live, work, and play on board full-time.
Angela is the publisher of WritersWeekly.com, a free source of paying markets for freelance writers and photographers. If you want to write for magazines, websites, businesses, or others, check it out. It’s free! Her publishing services company, BookLocker.com, has published more than 9,000 books over the past 18 years. If you want to publish a book, she’d love to hear from you! Abuzz Press is BookLocker’s hybrid publishing company. And, PubPreppers.com offers services to authors who are having their books published elsewhere.
If you’re just tuning in, CLICK HERE to start at the beginning. 🙂
When we first moved on board “No Tan Lines,” we bought a micro-microwave (meaning the smallest one we could find). Everything on the boat must be small. Then, we had to ponder where to put it. The galley (kitchen) wasn’t a good idea because there wouldn’t be enough counter space left for meal preparation. The large counter-top on the other side of the island wasn’t ideal because, when you need the microwave when cooking, you’d actually have to leave the galley to get to it. The only place that made sense was on the island, which is between the galley and the hallway. That way, you could simply lean over, while standing in the galley, and pop something in. And, it fit just perfectly right there against that wall!
This week, the GPS guy had to come take a look at our electronics. Why? Because the last time we went sailing, our GPS was off by 30 degrees! Thank goodness we only sailed a mile outside of Tampa Bay because, had we been 12 or more miles offshore, out of sight of land, we might have ended up in The Bahamas…which actually wouldn’t be a bad thing. 😉
Anyway, the GPS guy showed up with his son and they quickly diagnosed the problem. Directly behind the microwave is a panel housing wires and all other sorts of electronic gizmos, thingymabobs, and whatchamacallits – all leading to our navigation equipment in the cockpit. The microwave has magnets. He said those can affect our navigation equipment. Oops.
So, we have to move the microwave. We’re not sure where yet but, as Richard pointed out, one thing’s for sure – we’ll be getting exercise while cooking because it’s not going in the kitchen, nor anywhere near that wall!
We also almost lost our beloved micro-microwave this week. When it was being moved for the GPS guy, it got dropped. It landed on the beautiful, rounded, teak step in the hallway, which cracked. So, now we have another repair to make…which is nothing new when you live on a boat. 😉
In other news:
It’s beastly hot here in Florida now. We have the shades up and the three air conditioners are running 24/7.
We found a leak behind Mason’s bed and it had to be removed from the boat for the fix. Mason happily moved his bedding and stuffed animals to the salon. He’s cuddled up there and quite comfy.
Reinstalling the port in his room didn’t work. The leak is coming from the toe rail. So, we’ll need to replace those now, rather than waiting until it cools off this fall. That’s gonna be a HOT job!!
Don’t forget to subscribe to our newsletter. We’ll alert you to new posts and we’ll be having book give-aways! 🙂
* * *
Angela Hoy is a publisher, a blogger, and the author of 19 books. She lived on dirt her entire life before her family gave away almost everything they owned, and moved onto a 52-foot Irwin Center Cockpit Ketch. They all live, work, and play on board full-time.
Angela is the publisher of WritersWeekly.com, a free source of paying markets for freelance writers and photographers. If you want to write for magazines, websites, businesses, or others, check it out. It’s free! Her publishing services company, BookLocker.com, has published more than 9,000 books over the past 18 years. If you want to publish a book, she’d love to hear from you! Abuzz Press is BookLocker’s hybrid publishing company. And, PubPreppers.com offers services to authors who are having their books published elsewhere.
If you’re just tuning in, CLICK HERE to start at the beginning. 🙂
A few weeks ago, when we were talking about the impending hurricane season, I said, “Last year we got slammed with storms and had a major hurricane. Statistically speaking, what are the chances we’ll get another one this year?” Unfortunately, I forgot to knock on teak.
Hello, Alberto!
After Hurricane Irma last year, we knew this one would be a piece of cake. But, still, we readied the boat and ourselves for yet another live-aboard adventure. We had plenty of water and food – enough to last us for 10 days. Our standard provisions include milk, bread, eggs, juice, proteins, fruits, and veggies, popcorn, raspberry chocolate chip ice cream (2 of those!), and chocolate chip cookie dough, of course. While the storm wasn’t expected to hit us dead on, we were going to get tropical storm force winds, storm surge, and flooding rains. We have a satellite office downtown that’s on the second floor of a building but that’s no fun at all so we opted to remain on board “No Tan Lines” throughout the course of the storm.
Of course, we have a first aid kit in case of minor emergencies but you always hope nothing will happen during a storm. Buuuuuut, Murphy’s Law always seems to find its way into our lives.
That night, we were just about to go to bed. The wind was kicking up and Tanny was bouncing all over the place. And, it was raining again as another squall came through. It was late but it wasn’t a school night so the boys were still up. And, that’s when Mason came into the aft stateroom (our small bedroom).
“Mom. I’m bleeding. A lot.”
“Oh, okay, honey. Let me look.”
He showed me. Yeah, it was a LOT of blood. An alarming amount.
“Geez, Mason! What did you do?”
“Well, it was bothering me so I started messing with it and it just started bleeding and it wouldn’t stop.”
I grabbed a flashlight for a closer look. The source of the bleed was kind of hidden under the layers of flesh. I couldn’t stop the bleeding without being able to put pressure on the source. I told him I’d need pull part of it away to get to the bleed.
“No, Mom! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! Don’t touch it!”
Mason tried to escape but I held his hand, reassuring him that this had to be done.
Remaining outwardly calm, I gently said, “Max, get me some paper towels. Richard, hold this flashlight.”
Mason kept protesting.
Max brought the paper towels and I tore off a small piece, and very quickly did what I had to do. Mason yelped.
Then I shoved another piece of paper towel against the wound and the bleeding slowed down very quickly. It worked! I silently congratulated myself for watching all those episodes of Grey’s Anatomy.
Mason sat there glaring at me, holding the paper towel in place.
I smiled back at him, held up what I’d just torn from my own child’s body, and said, “Do you think the tooth fairy comes during tropical storms?”
Don’t forget to subscribe to our newsletter. We’ll alert you to new posts and we’ll be having book give-aways! 🙂
* * *
Angela Hoy is a publisher, a blogger, and the author of 19 books. She lived on dirt her entire life before her family gave away almost everything they owned, and moved onto a 52-foot Irwin Center Cockpit Ketch. They all live, work, and play on board full-time.
Angela is the publisher of WritersWeekly.com, a free source of paying markets for freelance writers and photographers. If you want to write for magazines, websites, businesses, or others, check it out. It’s free! Her publishing services company, BookLocker.com, has published more than 9,000 books over the past 18 years. If you want to publish a book, she’d love to hear from you! Abuzz Press is BookLocker’s hybrid publishing company. And, PubPreppers.com offers services to authors who are having their books published elsewhere.
If you’re just tuning in, CLICK HERE to start at the beginning. 🙂
PART II
Last week, I shared the story of our first sailing adventure on No Tan Lines (“Tanny”). Halfway through our day trip, we started taking on water. You can read Part I of this story RIGHT HERE but, in a nutshell:
We started off the day listening to the Coast Guard repeatedly asking mariners to look for a boat that was sinking…but the single person onboard didn’t know exactly where he was in the gulf. We were too far away to help in the search and rescue.
We had to play chicken with a tanker under the Skyway Bridge.
Our bilge pumps starting running repeatedly, which alerted us that we were taking on water. A LOT of water. Capt. Brian P. Whiddon (who is also the Managing Editor of WritersWeekly) fixed the problem but we didn’t know how long the patch would last.
When pulling down the main sail, it got stuck and a line got jammed as well. With three sails flapping violently, and rigging clanging, Brian had to climb part way up the mast in high winds, with Tanny pitching to and fro. It was very dangerous, but necessary.
With our hearts literally pounding after our back-to-back adventures, and constantly worrying about the previous leak breaking loose again, we just wanted to GET HOME to the safety of our slip at the marina…but the wind was not cooperating. We tacked, and jibed, and tacked, and jibed. We weren’t going to make it home until around 10 p.m., if we were lucky. If we got home AT ALL. As the sky grew dark, I tried to relax, silently talking to myself. ‘Come on, Angie. Chill OUT! I mean, seriously, what else could POSSIBLY go wrong?!’
I was tempted to text details of our current situation to Richard, who was on warm, safe, dry land, training a new employee. But, I refrained because I didn’t want him to panic. So, I simply sent him a couple more pictures of the boys, and told him about what time we expected to dock. He said no problem and sent a smiley emoticon, completely obvious to our situation…which was a good thing. (Later, he told me he was very glad he was unaware of what was going on because he would have spent hours worrying about us.)
After tacking yet again, and not getting any closer to our destination, my stress level was through the bimini so I asked Brian if we could just motor the rest of the way in. The engine had been getting hot earlier and we risked it overheating. But, I reasoned, if it got hot again, we’d simply turn it off, and put a sail back up while it cooled off. Brian agreed. I fired up the engine and Brian took down the staysail and mizzen. It was already dark so Max was on the bow, holding a spotlight, on the lookout for crab traps. I kept nervously checking the temperature gauge on the engine but it was holding steady.
It only took about 30 minutes to reach the basin outside of the marina. The engine hadn’t overheated and we hadn’t hit any crab traps so we were home free! Or, so we thought…
Brian asked me if I felt comfortable docking Tanny in the dark. Holding the wheel with my left hand, I waived my right one with bravado. “Of course!”
I’ve only docked her twice before and the last time would have been picture perfect if I hadn’t forgotten that I’d briefly put her in reverse…and LEFT her in reverse.
After we passed through the basin, I very, very slowly rounded the end of dock five, and turned into the fairway between docks four and five. I stayed close to dock five so I would have a wide area for my turn into our slip. Despite the late hour, our faithful friend Miles was standing on the dock with his boat hook in hand, ready to assist.
Brian told me when to start turning and I eased Tanny closer to the slip. I was heading straight in! It was going to be perfect! I was already patting myself on the back. Docking a 52-foot boat in a narrow slip is no easy feat and I’d done it after dark! At least, I thought I had…
As she was coasting in ever so slowly, the wind started to push her to port. The piling on her port side was VERY QUICKLY coming closer and closer.
Brian yelled, “Abort! Start over!”
No big deal. Aborting is pretty simple so I wasn’t nervous. I’d done it before. Reverse. Bow thruster. Turn wheel. Forward. Turn around. Easy peasy!
So, I straightened the wheel, and gently put her in reverse. As soon as the bow cleared the outermost piling, I clicked the bow thruster to turn her bow to the left. Then, I turned the wheel, and put her in forward. It was really dark away from the dock lights and I couldn’t see much in front of me. Max was on the bow so he was kind of in my way. (That’s my excuse and I’m sticking to it.) Then, I heard shouting from all around me. All the voices melded into one cacophony of male hysteria. What? WHAT?! I couldn’t see much but it looked like I was turning just fine. And, that’s when one loud, booming voice roared above the rest.
“REVERSE! REVERSE!!!”
Ignoring Brian’s previous training, I didn’t gently click her into reverse. I THREW her into reverse. But, it was too late. I rammed a large piling head-on. Dead on. I couldn’t have hit it any more precisely if I’d tried. Miles later said that, after the impact, it groaned, and leaned way over but it didn’t fall. I’d missed that slip’s boat by mere inches. As I was backing up, I squinted my eyes ahead. I still couldn’t see that bleeping piling! Where was it?!
Once I thought I was far enough away, I clicked the bow thruster joy stick to the left again, put her in forward, and proceeded toward the end of the fairway. I squinted ahead again. Nothing but shadows in the dark but the lights from the park were in the distance so I was heading in the right direction.
And, that’s when Brian yelled from the stern, “ANGIE!! Are you going to hit ANOTHER ONE?!”
“Um, what?!”
“There’s a large piling RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU!!!”
I quickly hit the bow thruster again, moving the bow farther away from the dock four boats and their pilings. Only when we were passing the last, very large piling could I see it.
Max was still standing on the bow, shaking his head, likely wondering why he hadn’t chosen to spend the day at his sister’s house. Mason (age 11) was sitting right next to me in the cockpit, wrapped up in his bulky, neon yellow life jacket, completely silent. Such a sweet boy. He’s the only person who didn’t yell at me that day!
Dangerous docking on a moonless night!
As I headed back into the basin to turn around, I was wondering how Brian had seen that piling all the way from the stern of the boat. He was a good six feet behind me. It didn’t make any sense. Something was tickling the back of my brain but I didn’t have time to fully process the thought. I had to get Tanny docked so this day would FINALLY END!
After making a wide turn in the basin, I prepared for my second approach. Brian said, “Are you SURE you can dock the boat after dark, Angie? Do you want me to take over?”
I rolled my eyes. Men!!
“I’m fine, Brian. The wind pushed me to port last time. I’ll compensate better for that this time.”
I heard him grunt.
I know I need to learn how to do these things. And, there’s some sort of male sexist thing going on here at the dock about women not being able to dock boats. Pushaw!!! I was going to show ’em!
I once again turned into our fairway, hugged the dock five side, and turned towards our slip. I waited about three more seconds this time, knowing the wind would be pushing me to the south, into the pilings. I planned to bump her forward when that started happening again, overcompensating for the wind. Then, she’d just glide right down the middle of the slip! Buuuuut, that’s not what happened. The wind caught Tanny again and the middle of her port side again started moving quickly toward a piling.
Not thinking about how many of our neighbors were already asleep, I hollered at Max, who was still standing on the bow with his boat hook. “MAX! PILING!! PORT!!!” Max dropped his boat hook, ran over, and pushed against it with all his might but the distinct whining sound of piling vs. toe rail began. SCRAAAAAAAPE! All the way down the side of Tanny.
That caused Tanny’s bow to move right, toward the finger dock. I muttered a profanity because she was now cockeyed in the slip. Brian yelled, “Bow thruster to port!” I clicked it a few times and she straightened out. Max had pushed on the piling just enough so the scraping had stopped.
Using his own boat hook, Brian grabbed the stern lines, and secured them while Max threw the bow lines to Miles. It was late so, once we were tied off, Miles walked back to his boat, with our grateful words of thanks following him down the dock. It was sweet of him not to tease me about the entertainment I’d provided that evening. He saved that for later.
I quickly texted Richard: “We’re back! Just tied the lines and about to clean up. Something happened while we were out but I didn’t want to worry you. We were taking on water. And, then I crashed the boat. Minor damage only. I’ll tell you all about it when you get here.”
He texted back one word: “WHAT?!?!?!?!?!”
We all went to work putting the bumpers back on, hooking up the power and Internet, cleaning up the deck, and stowing things below. Aside from a few gray hairs, several new bruises, and elevated blood pressure, we were none the worse for wear after our harrowing day.
The boys went down to take their showers and Brian grabbed a cold beer. I sat down in the cockpit, and took a deep breath. My brain had settled down, and was working logically again. And, that’s when it hit me.
I turned my head, and said, “Hey, Brian. There’s something I probably should have told you before tonight.”
He took a swig of his cold beer, and let fly a loud captain’s burp. “Yeah? What’s that?”
“I’m night blind.”
POST SCRIPT
The next day, my phone rang. My caller ID said it was Miles so I answered. After some polite small-talk, he started laughing out of the blue…and got louder and louder. I said, “What’s so funny?!”
After he caught his breath, he finally said, “I almost (bleeped) my pants when you hit that piling! If my wife ever wants to dock our boat, I’m NOT going to be there!”
I’ll undoubtedly get some good ribbing from our male neighbors at this week’s Friday Night Dock Party. And, I’ll just smile, and gently remind them to thank me for not hitting one of THEIR BOATS.
The opening in the propane locker. The mysterious semi-transparent hose that tried to sink Tanny.
OH! I ALMOST FORGOT!!
What caused our big leak? Capt. Brian traced the hose. It starts in the propane locker, which is under the deck on the starboard side. It’s not the main drain. There’s a hole in the bottom of the locker for that. This particular opening is about half-way up the side. The semi-transparent hose runs from the locker, down underneath the aft shower, past the seacocks under the galley floor, and to a thru-hull. Each time the boat heeled to starboard, water was rushing into the hose. The pressure caused it to break and, thus, start filling the bilge. We have found a LOT of weird things on this boat and it wouldn’t surprise us if the previous owner turned one fully functional thing into something that makes no sense at all.
Our next order of business is to contact other Irwin owners (there’s a great group of them on Facebook) to ask them what the purpose of that hose is. I suspect it’s backup drainage but I’m probably wrong. I admit I’m enjoying trying to solve the mystery!
Don’t forget to subscribe to our newsletter. We’ll alert you to new posts and we’ll be having book give-aways! 🙂
* * *
Angela Hoy is a publisher, a blogger, and the author of 19 books. She lived on dirt her entire life before her family gave away almost everything they owned, and moved onto a 52-foot Irwin Center Cockpit Ketch. They all live, work, and play on board full-time.
Angela is the publisher of WritersWeekly.com, a free source of paying markets for freelance writers and photographers. If you want to write for magazines, websites, businesses, or others, check it out. It’s free! Her publishing services company, BookLocker.com, has published more than 9,000 books over the past 18 years. If you want to publish a book, she’d love to hear from you! Abuzz Press is BookLocker’s hybrid publishing company. And, PubPreppers.com offers services to authors who are having their books published elsewhere.
