“Buoy Bells?!” A Christmas-in-Florida Sing (and Laugh) Along

If you’re just tuning in, CLICK HERE to start at the beginning. 🙂

Bet you guys and gals didn’t know that WritersWeekly has amazingly talented songwriters in-house, didja? Ha ha ha…

Buoy Bells

(Sing to the tune of Silver Bells)

Buoy bells (buoy bells), Red tide smells (Red tide smells)
It’s Christmas time in the tropics
Bang-a-lang (Bang-a-lang), Hear them clang (hear them clang)
Why is it 80 degrees?

Sunburned bubble butts, Sweaty beer guts
Dressed in shorts and flip flops
In the air there’s a sound of mosquitoes…

Beach bums laughing, tourists passing (out)
Meeting frowns from local folks
And on every beach blanket you hear

Jimmy Buffet (Jimmy Buffet), Jimmy Buffet (Jimmy Buffet)
I hate that song more than sweat stains
Oh my word (Oh my word), Big bag word! (Big bad word!)
Is that guy’s Speedo see-through?

Strings of cop lights, flashing blue lights
Blinking right in your eyes
As you try to rush home from the beach bar

Hear the boots crunch, on the pavement
Just outside your car door
And just after your Miranda Rights you hear

Watch your head (Watch your head), Lucky you’re not dead (Lucky you’re not dead)
Did you just vomit on my boots?
Snowbirds here (Snowbirds here), Every darned year (Every darned year)
Next year, go skiing instead!

If you, too, have written a funny Christmas parody song, please share it with us in the comments box below! We would LOVE to sing along!!!

All of the elves at WritersWeekly and BookLocker are wishing all of YOU, our smart, funny, talented, and at times whacky (which we LOVE!) readers, a beautiful, blessed, warm, and joyous Christmas!

Now, back to that HUGE tin of Moose Munch Crunch that arrived today!!

Big ho ho hugs!

NEXT: Annoying Dock Neighbors!

Are you subscribed to our newsletter? We’ll alert you to new posts and we’ll be having book give-aways! 🙂

* * *

Angela Hoy is a publisher, a blogger, and the author of 19 books. She lived on dirt her entire life before her family gave away almost everything they owned, and moved onto a 52-foot Irwin Center Cockpit Ketch. They all live, work, and play on board full-time.

Angela is the publisher of WritersWeekly.com, a free source of paying markets for freelance writers and photographers. If you want to write for magazines, websites, businesses, or others, check it out. It’s free! Her publishing services company, BookLocker.com, has published more than 9,000 books over the past 18 years. If you want to publish a book, she’d love to hear from you! Abuzz Press is BookLocker’s hybrid publishing company. And, PubPreppers.com offers services to authors who are having their books published elsewhere.

My First (and certainly not my last) Falling Off the Boat Accident! (Includes really gross pictures…)

If you’re just tuning in, CLICK HERE to start at the beginning. 🙂

On Saturday, I had my first major live-aboard mishap. I was getting back on board No Tan Lines, and misjudged where I put my toes on the toerail. The wind was blowing pretty hard and I thought I could make the 3 1/2 foot step from the dock onto the boat since I do it all the time.

I got my right foot on there just fine. But, when my body was halfway between the dock and the boat, my toe slipped off the toerail and my legs instantly went straight down toward the water. Instinct caused me to throw my upper body on the deck at the same moment. My right shoulder took the brunt of the impact. Max (age 17) and Mason (age 12) heard me holler, and came running.

I managed to claw my way onto the deck, turned over, and looked at my leg. It was very deformed. Nauseatingly so. The muscle had slid into my upper leg so my leg was flat on top from the kneecap up, and then there was a 90-degree angled huge mass of flesh.

Max said, “Oh, Mom! That doesn’t look right!!!” I thought it was bones piled up in my leg like that. I hope he and Mason aren’t scarred from seeing it.

I wish I’d thought to take a picture right then but I was too busy trying to figure out how I was going to walk down that looooong dock to get to the car for a trip to the hospital. Max ran down the dock to get Richard, I very slowly limped and stumbled down the dock, and our captain (and the Managing Editor of WritersWeekly), Brian Whiddon, heard the commotion, jumped out of his boat, and drove us to the emergency room. Max stayed on the boat to watch Mason and they received frequent text updates.

The muscle corrected itself before we got to the E.R. Several x-rays. Nothing broken. Muscle and nerve damage to my leg and a sprained right shoulder.

Swelling isn’t going down yet. When I touch it, it ripples like a water balloon. Pretty, huh? My left shin has an 8-inch long bruise on it and my right arm is bruised from the impact. My left arm is sore but no bruising. I also have a cut on my forehead that I think makes me look kinda tough. I am boat bound for several days but I have lots of good people taking care of me. Our awesome Dock 4 neighbors have called, texted, facebooked, and dropped by. We have enough dinners to last us a week, along with a beautiful cake, thanks to our friends Marilyn and Bob.

My leg pain is much better but my sprained shoulder is wreaking havoc on my sleep and my productivity. I changed my mouse from right-handed to left-handed, which took some getting used to. I also use Dragon Speak when I have a lot to write. My arm is in a sling and immobilized because lifting my arm hurts like a bleepity bleep bleep. I feel like I’m in a straight jacket.

The best part of this entire ordeal was that NOBODY SAW IT HAPPEN! However, if I’d hit my head and fallen in the water, I might not be here today. I will be so much more careful getting on and off the boat now. Another dock neighbor dropped a battery on his toe this week and broke 11 bones. Bad things come in threes so we’re waiting to see what happens next before things calm down here on the dock.

I am sooooo glad we hired two new employees over the past year. My goal was to ensure there was no single point of failure in the company if something happened to one of us. I guess I’ve been a good trainer because I’ve spent more time on my back with my leg being elevated and iced than I have been on my laptop. And, my awesome people have kept up with everything!! The downside is I’m running out of good Netflix movies to watch. Anybody have any good recommendations for excellent Netflix and Hulu series to watch? Please chime in in the comments box below! I’m bored out of my mind. Your recommendation may very well keep me out of a straight jacket! Oh, wait…I’m already in one.

Part II of this story IS HERE.

More updates on my injury:

NEXT: “Buoy Bells?!” A Christmas-in-Florida Sing (and Laugh) Along

Are you subscribed to our newsletter? We’ll alert you to new posts and we’ll be having book give-aways! 🙂

* * *

Angela Hoy is a publisher, a blogger, and the author of 19 books. She lived on dirt her entire life before her family gave away almost everything they owned, and moved onto a 52-foot Irwin Center Cockpit Ketch. They all live, work, and play on board full-time.

Angela is the publisher of WritersWeekly.com, a free source of paying markets for freelance writers and photographers. If you want to write for magazines, websites, businesses, or others, check it out. It’s free! Her publishing services company, BookLocker.com, has published more than 9,000 books over the past 18 years. If you want to publish a book, she’d love to hear from you! Abuzz Press is BookLocker’s hybrid publishing company. And, PubPreppers.com offers services to authors who are having their books published elsewhere.

Hurricane Michael: Boots on the Ground in the Aftermath – by Capt. Brian P. Whiddon

If you’re just tuning in, CLICK HERE to start at the beginning. 🙂

Our captain, Brian Whiddon, shares his first-hand account of volunteering at Ground Zero of Hurricane Michael. 


Sitting on my boat last week, observing the rising waters and intense wind, I knew that Hurricane Michael was a monster. It was several hundred miles from St. Petersburg yet we were getting 30 and 40 MPH gusts and the water in the marina had risen over and above the finger docks. The satellite images showed a compact, almost symmetrical cyclone slowly closing on the Florida panhandle. Monitoring the newscasts, I heard that the storm was no longer a Category 2, but a Cat 3. Then, it wasn’t a Cat 3, but a Cat 4!!

Read the rest here:

PART I

PART II

NEXT: My First (and certainly not my last) Falling Off the Boat Accident! (Includes really gross pictures…)

Are you subscribed to our newsletter? We’ll alert you to new posts and we’ll be having book give-aways! 🙂

* * *

Angela Hoy is a publisher, a blogger, and the author of 19 books. She lived on dirt her entire life before her family gave away almost everything they owned, and moved onto a 52-foot Irwin Center Cockpit Ketch. They all live, work, and play on board full-time.

Angela is the publisher of WritersWeekly.com, a free source of paying markets for freelance writers and photographers. If you want to write for magazines, websites, businesses, or others, check it out. It’s free! Her publishing services company, BookLocker.com, has published more than 9,000 books over the past 18 years. If you want to publish a book, she’d love to hear from you! Abuzz Press is BookLocker’s hybrid publishing company. And, PubPreppers.com offers services to authors who are having their books published elsewhere.

MENACING HURRICANE MICHAEL! See Pics and Videos

If you’re just tuning in, CLICK HERE to start at the beginning. 🙂

First, I want to send HUGE accolades to WritersWeekly.com‘s Managing Editor, Brian Whiddon. He left before the crack of dawn this morning to volunteer in the rescue efforts near Panama Beach, Florida. He spent all day yesterday packing up his rescue and survival gear. Tons of water and gasoline, chain saw, first aid supplies, ready-to-eat meals – you name it, he’s hauling it – and all paid for out of his own pocket! He’s an ex-cop and ex-military so he’s been through this before. He now belongs to a group that offers disaster assistance to communities in need. He’s willing to endure being cut off from the outside world, extreme discomfort (no air conditioning or shower!), and the emotional stress of such an important job to help people he’s never met, and will never see again. We are so proud of him and we are honored that he works for WritersWeekly and BookLocker! If you want to send him kuddos and a hug, you can contact him HERE. (He’s going to kill me for posting this – he’s very modest – but, he has no Internet in the disaster zone so…he can’t stop me!) 😉

UPDATE: We heard from Brian this evening (10/12/18). He had to borrow a phone because his doesn’t have a signal. His group was looking for a place to park their trucks, which they will sleep in tonight. PLEASE CONSIDER DONATING TO THE ORGANIZATION BRIAN IS WORKING WITH RIGHT HERE. They need formula, diapers, water, food, gasoline, medical supplies, medicine, ice for insulin, tarps for roofs, and much, much more! No amount is too small. Families have literally lost everything they owned. Their members are buying needed supplies, and immediate trucking them into the affected areas. IF YOU CAN DONATE YOUR TIME, either as a rescue volunteer, delivering supplies to the disaster zone, or even doing computer work, you can register at that website as well.


After Hurricane Irma hit last year, with its accompanying severe stress that lasted for days, we made firm plans to avoid that scenario in the future. To make a very long story short, we planned to evacuate to the East Coast of Florida. Irma changed course. We planned a different route, to Orlando. She changed course again. We decided to stay put and Irma screamed, “Checkmate!” And, thar she blew, straight for us! It was absolutely terrifying!

Not wanting to play hurricane chess ever again, last spring, we rented a very inexpensive “satellite office” in downtown St. Petersburg, on the second floor of an old building that had been through many storms in the past. It’s surrounded by other old buildings that help provide protection from the wind.

And, this week, our preparations paid off! Michael wasn’t expected to hit us directly but we would be on the wet side of the storm, with the storm surge. We had already moved all essential business files and equipment to the office over the summer so we wouldn’t once again find ourselves in a “last minute” panic situation.

On Monday morning, we woke up to the expected storm surge watch. Richard calmly packed up our small on board printer, our duffel bag of office supplies, and a few changes of clothes for the boys. He and Mason drove over there so he could start work for the day and so Mason could start his homeschooling lessons.

The muscle on the boat (Max, who is 17 and over 6 feet tall) stayed here to help me and our Managing Editor, Brian Whiddon, prepare the boats for the storm. Brian lives on a boat, too, and it’s right down the dock. Storm prep simply involved moving all loose objects inside (including our Halloween decoration, who is affectionately called Boner), lashing down the cover on the outboard (since we almost lost it in an afternoon blow), and double- and triple-checking all of the lines even though we would have to adjust them repeatedly when the surge starts coming in.

Rather than repeat the rest of our excitement here, if you want read what happened, and see photos and videos, please look at my Facebook page RIGHT HERE.

And, please friend request me when you do! 🙂

I am still having heart palpitations from this week. I experience those for days after extreme stress, and have my entire life. And, I just checked weather.com. There’s another system developing south of Cuba, where Michael was born just a few days ago. And, Tropical Storm Nadine is marching across the Atlantic in our direction.

“Move to sunny Florida!” they said. “It’ll be GREAT!” they said.

I’m going to post this, and then call my cardiologist…

NEXT: Hurricane Michael: Boots on the Ground in the Aftermath – by Capt. Brian P. Whiddon

Don’t forget to subscribe to our newsletter. We’ll alert you to new posts and we’ll be having book give-aways! 🙂

* * *

Angela Hoy is a publisher, a blogger, and the author of 19 books. She lived on dirt her entire life before her family gave away almost everything they owned, and moved onto a 52-foot Irwin Center Cockpit Ketch. They all live, work, and play on board full-time.

Angela is the publisher of WritersWeekly.com, a free source of paying markets for freelance writers and photographers. If you want to write for magazines, websites, businesses, or others, check it out. It’s free! Her publishing services company, BookLocker.com, has published more than 9,000 books over the past 18 years. If you want to publish a book, she’d love to hear from you! Abuzz Press is BookLocker’s hybrid publishing company. And, PubPreppers.com offers services to authors who are having their books published elsewhere.

A Very Bumpy Night!

If you’re just tuning in, CLICK HERE to start at the beginning. 🙂

Last night, when taking Coco out to potty, I heard thunder. To the northeast, a dark wall was approaching. In front of it, a beautiful rainbow was blessing the sky. I encouraged Coco to hurry up and do her business but she was distracted by a police K9 unit nearby.

After the wind wall hit (the cold wind that seemingly hits out of nowhere in front of one of the rainy season storms), I hurried her back to the boat. Shortly thereafter, No Tan Lines was rocking pretty good. I took this shot at that time, as well as the one at the top of this story. Neither one is photoshopped, of course.

The sun was starting to set and the storm was moving very, very slowly. When it finally hit, it was already dark out and I heard some odd sounds outside that I hadn’t heard before. So, we stepped outside to investigate. We weren’t rubbing anything but we adjusted the lines, and added one more, securing to the winch in the cockpit. It pulled us a bit further from the finger dock where we’d been smushed against the bumpers pretty good.

While we were standing outside, the wind instantly shifted from south to east. We suspected a nearby rotation but it was pitch black out. Lightning was striking non-stop so we were able to use those flashes to see the sky in the distance. We couldn’t see any waterspout or tornado, thank goodness. I asked Mason (age 12) if he was afraid. He said no so we opted to stay on board, rather than head the captain’s lounge, which is constructed with cinder block.

We got a TON of rain and some serious wind but Tanny fared just fine once again. I couldn’t take Coco out for another potty attempt until almost midnight. Boy oh boy, was she relieved!!

This morning, we found fallen palm fronds all over the place! The marina had scheduled tree trimming for today but it looks like Mother Nature took care of most of that. 😉

NEXT: MENACING HURRICANE MICHAEL! See Pics and Videos

Don’t forget to subscribe to our newsletter. We’ll alert you to new posts and we’ll be having book give-aways! 🙂

* * *

Angela Hoy is a publisher, a blogger, and the author of 19 books. She lived on dirt her entire life before her family gave away almost everything they owned, and moved onto a 52-foot Irwin Center Cockpit Ketch. They all live, work, and play on board full-time.

Angela is the publisher of WritersWeekly.com, a free source of paying markets for freelance writers and photographers. If you want to write for magazines, websites, businesses, or others, check it out. It’s free! Her publishing services company, BookLocker.com, has published more than 9,000 books over the past 18 years. If you want to publish a book, she’d love to hear from you! Abuzz Press is BookLocker’s hybrid publishing company. And, PubPreppers.com offers services to authors who are having their books published elsewhere.

Mass Mayhem on 2 Boats in 50-Knot Winds!

If you’re just tuning in, CLICK HERE to start at the beginning. 🙂

When you live on a boat, you grow accustomed to the sounds and the motions of your vessel on the water. There are normal sounds (the water pump clicking on or off, for example) and abnormal sounds (like the high water alarm!). And, there are normal motions (the constant, gentle rocking), and abnormal motions (like when a waterspout appears nearby and the boat instantly heels waaaaaay over!).

One afternoon earlier this week, I was sitting here working aboard No Tan Lines (“Tanny”) in the aft cabin. It was pretty quiet. Richard had taken Mason to a doctor appointment and Max was busy doing his school work in the v-berth. The air conditioner was running and it’s pretty loud so I couldn’t hear when the wind picked up. I could feel it, though. No big deal. The boat is almost always in motion and, when the afternoon storms blow in, we can rock quite a bit. I glanced through the port and saw black clouds approaching. Yea! Another blow!! We get those daily right now so I turned my attention back to the article I was writing.

And, that’s when I felt something different – something I’ve felt only twice before. The boat started shuddering. It felt like Tanny had the shiggles. She would shudder, and then stop, and shudder again. A weird, silent on and off vibration. And, I knew what that meant. We were rubbing the dock!

I pushed my laptop aside, jumped up, and ran through the hallway. The wind was howling now. Rambo the cat, who is terrified of storms, was heading in the opposite direction. He ran between my legs, screeching loudly as he always does when a big storm is coming. Max came barrelling out of his room. He’d felt it, too. He yelled, “What IS that?!”

I said, “We’re rubbing the dock! HURRY!”

Max threw open the companionway door, and flew into the cockpit. I was right on his heels. Tanny was flush against the dock on the starboard side. The bumpers were too low for the tide so they weren’t protecting her. Since the boat was pitching in the high winds, the toe rail was being scrunched and wood was splintering. Max ran to the bow, and started pulling on the port lines. I raced to the stern and, try as I might, I could not pull the lines. The winds was too strong, around 50 knots. I didn’t have the strength to pull a 45,000 lb. vessel against it.

Thankfully, at that moment, Captain Brian was walking up the dock. I yelled over the wind to get his attention. He jumped on the boat, and started helping Max with the bow line. I then ran to the middle of the starboard side, planted my butt on the deck of the boat, put both of my feet against the dock, and pushed with all of my might. That worked! I was able to get us about 12 inches away from the dock. I locked my knees and held on tight. I was wearing a dress so I must have been a sight.

Our next-boat-neighbors, however, weren’t paying any attention to me. They had their own issue to deal with. They own a large power yacht and they have a pretty heavy skiff on their upper deck, complete with an outboard and a center console. When the winds started howling, they decided to pull it up with their lift, and lower it into the water. I was glad they were doing that because it seemed we might be getting a tornado or a waterspout soon and I didn’t want that skiff going airborne, and landing on Tanny!

They got the skiff in the air, and moved it over the water (between our two boats)…and then the lift stopped working. So, the skiff was hanging there, about 12 feet above the water, dead center between our boats, and swinging wildly in the gale-force winds.

Brian and Max had managed to secure our lines and I was able to unlock my knees. We adjusted the bumpers and then Max then stood on our stern, holding a boat hook to prevent the skiff from hitting Tanny while it was blowing all around. They managed to get lines tied from the skiff to the pilings and that was about all that could be done until the storm ended.

We then sat in the cockpit, and watched the clouds heading our way. We didn’t see any rotation, thank goodness. Here’s the funny thing. We only got a few sprinkles when it passed over. I looked at the radar when I came back inside and the big red dot appeared to disappear just before it hit downtown St. Pete, and then reappeared north of town. WEIRD!!!

After things calmed down, I called Richard and Mason at the doctor’s office, and said, “You missed all the excitement! IT WAS AWESOME!!!”

Rambo was still cowering in the bedroom so I covered him up, and gave him lots of TLC the rest of the afternoon.

The damage to the toe rail isn’t any big deal because we’re currently having it ripped out and replaced. So, Tanny is none the worse for wear. We have a high chance of storms again this afternoon and I can’t WAIT!

Don’t forget to subscribe to our newsletter. We’ll alert you to new posts and we’ll be having book give-aways! 🙂

* * *

Angela Hoy is a publisher, a blogger, and the author of 19 books. She lived on dirt her entire life before her family gave away almost everything they owned, and moved onto a 52-foot Irwin Center Cockpit Ketch. They all live, work, and play on board full-time.

Angela is the publisher of WritersWeekly.com, a free source of paying markets for freelance writers and photographers. If you want to write for magazines, websites, businesses, or others, check it out. It’s free! Her publishing services company, BookLocker.com, has published more than 9,000 books over the past 18 years. If you want to publish a book, she’d love to hear from you! Abuzz Press is BookLocker’s hybrid publishing company. And, PubPreppers.com offers services to authors who are having their books published elsewhere.

Black Sky in the Afternoon…Angie’s Over the Moon!

If you’re just tuning in, CLICK HERE to start at the beginning. 🙂

I admit it…I suck at poetry.. And, it wasn’t really a “black” sky but it was pretty dark, and getting darker! The photo above is from the big blow we had on Tuesday. The rainy season is in full force right now and, when this one hit, the winds blew 40 mph and it rained sideways. We forgot to close the isinglass over the companionway so we had a significant leak pouring into the salon. Nobody wanted to step outside and get drenched (or get struck by lightning!) so we just laid down a bunch of towels. 

Then, we sat by the ports, watching the system push through. The seas in the marina itself were 1-2 feet, which is very odd, even for a blow. The water rushing by No Tan Lines looked like a river and we were bouncing all over the place and heeling way over with each large gust. It was so cool!! We had another big blow yesterday and still another one this morning.

I LOVE rain so this is definitely my favorite time of year. Not only do we get a great lightning show in the afternoons, but the clouds make the Florida heat SO much more bearable.

NEXT: Mass Mayhem on 2 Boats in 50-Knot Winds!

Don’t forget to subscribe to our newsletter. We’ll alert you to new posts and we’ll be having book give-aways! 🙂

* * *

Angela Hoy is a publisher, a blogger, and the author of 19 books. She lived on dirt her entire life before her family gave away almost everything they owned, and moved onto a 52-foot Irwin Center Cockpit Ketch. They all live, work, and play on board full-time.

Angela is the publisher of WritersWeekly.com, a free source of paying markets for freelance writers and photographers. If you want to write for magazines, websites, businesses, or others, check it out. It’s free! Her publishing services company, BookLocker.com, has published more than 9,000 books over the past 18 years. If you want to publish a book, she’d love to hear from you! Abuzz Press is BookLocker’s hybrid publishing company. And, PubPreppers.com offers services to authors who are having their books published elsewhere.

OOPS!! What Happens When You Drop a Microwave Inside a Boat?

If you’re just tuning in, CLICK HERE to start at the beginning. 🙂

When we first moved on board “No Tan Lines,” we bought a micro-microwave (meaning the smallest one we could find). Everything on the boat must be small. Then, we had to ponder where to put it. The galley (kitchen) wasn’t a good idea because there wouldn’t be enough counter space left for meal preparation. The large counter-top on the other side of the island wasn’t ideal because, when you need the microwave when cooking, you’d actually have to leave the galley to get to it. The only place that made sense was on the island, which is between the galley and the hallway. That way, you could simply lean over, while standing in the galley, and pop something in. And, it fit just perfectly right there against that wall! 

This week, the GPS guy had to come take a look at our electronics. Why? Because the last time we went sailing, our GPS was off by 30 degrees! Thank goodness we only sailed a mile outside of Tampa Bay because, had we been 12 or more miles offshore, out of sight of land, we might have ended up in The Bahamas…which actually wouldn’t be a bad thing. 😉

Anyway, the GPS guy showed up with his son and they quickly diagnosed the problem. Directly behind the microwave is a panel housing wires and all other sorts of electronic gizmos, thingymabobs, and whatchamacallits – all leading to our navigation equipment in the cockpit. The microwave has magnets. He said those can affect our navigation equipment. Oops.

So, we have to move the microwave. We’re not sure where yet but, as Richard pointed out, one thing’s for sure – we’ll be getting exercise while cooking because it’s not going in the kitchen, nor anywhere near that wall!

We also almost lost our beloved micro-microwave this week. When it was being moved for the GPS guy, it got dropped. It landed on the beautiful, rounded, teak step in the hallway, which cracked. So, now we have another repair to make…which is nothing new when you live on a boat. 😉

In other news:

  • It’s beastly hot here in Florida now. We have the shades up and the three air conditioners are running 24/7.
  • We found a leak behind Mason’s bed and it had to be removed from the boat for the fix. Mason happily moved his bedding and stuffed animals to the salon. He’s cuddled up there and quite comfy.
  • Reinstalling the port in his room didn’t work. The leak is coming from the toe rail. So, we’ll need to replace those now, rather than waiting until it cools off this fall. That’s gonna be a HOT job!!

NEXT: Black Sky in the Afternoon…Angie’s Over the Moon!

Don’t forget to subscribe to our newsletter. We’ll alert you to new posts and we’ll be having book give-aways! 🙂

* * *

Angela Hoy is a publisher, a blogger, and the author of 19 books. She lived on dirt her entire life before her family gave away almost everything they owned, and moved onto a 52-foot Irwin Center Cockpit Ketch. They all live, work, and play on board full-time.

Angela is the publisher of WritersWeekly.com, a free source of paying markets for freelance writers and photographers. If you want to write for magazines, websites, businesses, or others, check it out. It’s free! Her publishing services company, BookLocker.com, has published more than 9,000 books over the past 18 years. If you want to publish a book, she’d love to hear from you! Abuzz Press is BookLocker’s hybrid publishing company. And, PubPreppers.com offers services to authors who are having their books published elsewhere.

 

Minor Surgery Aboard “No Tan Lines” During Tropical Storm Alberto!

If you’re just tuning in, CLICK HERE to start at the beginning. 🙂

A few weeks ago, when we were talking about the impending hurricane season, I said, “Last year we got slammed with storms and had a major hurricane. Statistically speaking, what are the chances we’ll get another one this year?” Unfortunately, I forgot to knock on teak.

Hello, Alberto! 

After Hurricane Irma last year, we knew this one would be a piece of cake. But, still, we readied the boat and ourselves for yet another live-aboard adventure. We had plenty of water and food – enough to last us for 10 days. Our standard provisions include milk, bread, eggs, juice, proteins, fruits, and veggies, popcorn, raspberry chocolate chip ice cream (2 of those!), and chocolate chip cookie dough, of course. While the storm wasn’t expected to hit us dead on, we were going to get tropical storm force winds, storm surge, and flooding rains. We have a satellite office downtown that’s on the second floor of a building but that’s no fun at all so we opted to remain on board “No Tan Lines” throughout the course of the storm.

Of course, we have a first aid kit in case of minor emergencies but you always hope nothing will happen during a storm. Buuuuuut, Murphy’s Law always seems to find its way into our lives.

That night, we were just about to go to bed. The wind was kicking up and Tanny was bouncing all over the place. And, it was raining again as another squall came through. It was late but it wasn’t a school night so the boys were still up. And, that’s when Mason came into the aft stateroom (our small bedroom).

“Mom. I’m bleeding. A lot.”

“Oh, okay, honey. Let me look.”

He showed me. Yeah, it was a LOT of blood. An alarming amount.

“Geez, Mason! What did you do?”

“Well, it was bothering me so I started messing with it and it just started bleeding and it wouldn’t stop.”

I grabbed a flashlight for a closer look. The source of the bleed was kind of hidden under the layers of flesh. I couldn’t stop the bleeding without being able to put pressure on the source. I told him I’d need pull part of it away to get to the bleed.

No, Mom! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! Don’t touch it!

Mason tried to escape but I held his hand, reassuring him that this had to be done.

Remaining outwardly calm, I gently said, “Max, get me some paper towels. Richard, hold this flashlight.”

Mason kept protesting.

Max brought the paper towels and I tore off a small piece, and very quickly did what I had to do. Mason yelped.

Then I shoved another piece of paper towel against the wound and the bleeding slowed down very quickly. It worked! I silently congratulated myself for watching all those episodes of Grey’s Anatomy.

Mason sat there glaring at me, holding the paper towel in place.

I smiled back at him, held up what I’d just torn from my own child’s body, and said, “Do you think the tooth fairy comes during tropical storms?”

NEXT: OOPS!! What Happens When You Drop a Microwave Inside a Boat?

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Angela Hoy is a publisher, a blogger, and the author of 19 books. She lived on dirt her entire life before her family gave away almost everything they owned, and moved onto a 52-foot Irwin Center Cockpit Ketch. They all live, work, and play on board full-time.

Angela is the publisher of WritersWeekly.com, a free source of paying markets for freelance writers and photographers. If you want to write for magazines, websites, businesses, or others, check it out. It’s free! Her publishing services company, BookLocker.com, has published more than 9,000 books over the past 18 years. If you want to publish a book, she’d love to hear from you! Abuzz Press is BookLocker’s hybrid publishing company. And, PubPreppers.com offers services to authors who are having their books published elsewhere.

Riding out Tropical Storm Alberto! Whoo hoo!!

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TROPICAL STORM ALBERTO UPDATE

We’ve been watching (Sub)Tropical Storm Alberto for a couple of days now with a wary eye. After Hurricane Irma last year, we knew this one would be a minor blow.

We could either ride her out on No Tan Lines, or head to the satellite office downtown. But, sitting in a stationary building during all the excitement sounded really boring so we opted to remain on board. And, it’s a good thing we did. The shifting winds and high tides required adding new lines, and making frequent adjustments.

Yesterday, the sailboat next to ours started taking on water in the heavy rains. It’s not plugged in to power and I imagine the batteries died long ago. We’ve been here for a year now and we’ve never met the owner, nor seen anyone other than marina staff on board. They put a pump in the boat to save it.

Alberto’s eye is passing directly west of us as I’m typing this. We’re getting our strongest winds yet and “No Tan Lines” is bouncing all over the place. We’re having a great adventure! Just adjusted the bow line because were were hugging the dock. Mason (age 11) ran in to tell us. The dock is directly outside his bedroom port so he was the first one to notice. He’s always on “crashing against the dock duty.” Found some damage on the toe rail on the starboard side (by the dock). Not sure when that happened but it was during low tide. We’re in a very high tide right now (storm surge) and we have swells IN the marina. It’s a FUN day!!!! Coco the dog is loving it! Rambo the cat….not so much.

Luckily, we haven’t lost power or Internet. I’m glad he’s only giving us a glancing blow. It’s good practice for the next one!

NEXT: Minor Surgery Aboard “No Tan Lines” During Tropical Storm Alberto!

Don’t forget to subscribe to our newsletter. We’ll alert you to new posts and we’ll be having book give-aways! 🙂

* * *

Angela Hoy is a publisher, a blogger, and the author of 19 books. She lived on dirt her entire life before her family gave away almost everything they owned, and moved onto a 52-foot Irwin Center Cockpit Ketch. They all live, work, and play on board full-time.

Angela is the publisher of WritersWeekly.com, a free source of paying markets for freelance writers and photographers. If you want to write for magazines, websites, businesses, or others, check it out. It’s free! Her publishing services company, BookLocker.com, has published more than 9,000 books over the past 18 years. If you want to publish a book, she’d love to hear from you! Abuzz Press is BookLocker’s hybrid publishing company. And, PubPreppers.com offers services to authors who are having their books published elsewhere.